


Wizards and Witches and Mermen, Oh My!

by Stormygio



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Merpeople, Supernatural Elements, Witches, Wizards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2018-12-01 00:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11475072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormygio/pseuds/Stormygio
Summary: The town of Stardew Valley hides some very interesting secrets. What would happen if those secrets were to come to light? The less-than-human inhabitants don't feel like finding out.





	1. Pest Season

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory "I claim no ownership of Stardew Valley nor its characters" here.

The center of town was filled with angry yells and upsets murmurs. A group of people stood gathered together, assembled in a disjointed mess of frazzled hair and furrowed eyebrows. 

A single man stood in front of the mob, hands raised as he tried to calm everyone down. His green shirt was partially untucked and the gray hairs on his mustache stood in disarray. 

“Ladies, gentlemen, may I please have your attention?” He said loudly, trying to gather everyone’s attention. The crowd in front of him quieted. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I understand that the town has recently been experiencing a wolf problem. Don’t worry, as I’m having this situation handled and there is no need to be alarmed.”

“This thing’s knocked over my trash every night for weeks!” One of the men in crowd shouted, pulling at his yellow jacket aggravatedly. “How can my customers feel safe coming to the saloon when there’s a chance that they’ll walk out and find themselves face to face with a wild beast?”

“What if it stops restricting itself to nighttime raids?” Another person, this time a woman in a modest yellow dress, added worriedly. “Or worse, what if it tries to get into my trailer? I don’t know if it’s wolf-proof, Mayor Lewis!” 

“Gus, Penny, please,” the older man, Mayor Lewis, said. “Rest assured, we are going to get this sorted out. Until then, we just need everyone to stay cautious and keep an eye out. The county’s animal control is going to handle this.” 

The crowd shifted, displeasure and worry lighting most of the towns folks’ faces. Gradually, it dispersed, with few people remaining to question the mayor on details regarding what he had said.

* * *

Ten minutes away, on a nearby farm, a young woman laid sprawled out across her front porch, completely unconscious. A brown Anatolian shepherd sat next to her, tail wagging as he pawed at her face.

“Ow, stop!” The girl said, eyes blearily blinking open, swiping the large dog’s paw out of her face and grimacing at the ache in her body. She’d really overworked herself last night. She pushed herself up, sitting up. “Food, Lopez?” 

The dog immediately jumped off its haunches, skittering to the front door. The farmer sighed and stood up. As she made her way to the door, she noticed a large letter, quickly stuffed underneath partially underneath the door. Bending down and picking it up, she quickly made note that there was nothing written on the envelope.

“If this is another prank from Jas and Vincent, I swear…” She mumbled, stuffing it under her arm before opening up her house door. Lopez almost knocked his owner over as he barreled his way into the house, sliding on the wooden floor and ramming into the fridge. The farmer sighed, smiling.

After setting up Lopez’s food bowl, she sat down at her kitchen table and opened up the plain envelope. A single piece of paper was neatly folded and tucked into it. She opened it, her eyebrows raising.

 

“Dear farmer Fran,

 

It is advised that you keep Lopez and your cows inside for the next week or so. Though I understand that your farm is fenced in and that you’ve probably already taken precautions with your dog due to the recent wolf problems we’ve been having, an animal control team will be here within a week and we would not want any of your animals to accidentally get involved or mistaken to be a stray. 

 

Stay safe and here’s hoping to a good, pest-free season,

Mayor Lewis.”

 

Fran sucked on her teeth, folding the letter back up. She glanced over at her dog, who was still noisily crunching on his dry food, and stood back up. 

“Mhmmmm, I think I should visit the Wizard. Lopez, don’t be a little shit and chew any furniture while I’m out,” she said, giving the dog’s side a solid pat. He ignored her in favor of his food. “Classic dog,” Fran said, briskly walking out of the house and locking the door behind her while Lopez was distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love all the headcanons regarding supernatural stuff in Stardew Valley, so here's to that. Will I continue this? I don't know, probably not.


	2. Bisexual Flowers

Fran pounded the large oak door in front of her. The mossy, cobblestone tower loomed above her, a building that might’ve come across as intimidating had the vines curling around it not been in a springtime bloom of purples, pinks, and blues. A muffled yell came from within. She took that as a “come in” and shoved the door open with her shoulder.  


The inside was a mess of books--or, more of a mess of books than usual. Rasmodius stood in front of the cauldron, his black cloak obscuring what he was doing. Fran inched closer, carefully maneuvering her way around the piles of books on the floor.  


“You, uh, good?” She asked. “No offense, but this place is a mess.”  


“Hmmmmm.” The wizard responded, distracted.  


“Wizard. Rasmodius.”  


“Hm? Oh, yes.” Rasmodius finally turned to face her. Fran paused her careful navigation of the cluttered room.  


“...What the fuck happened to your beard?” Completely forgetting what she had come for, Fran gestured with her hands in confusion. The wizard’s beard had been turned a brilliant lime shade of green, not unlike the color of the liquid inside his cauldron. His mustache and the rest of his hair, however, was unchanged. The contrast was stark and startling.  


“There was an accident,” Rasmodius said, grimacing. “Nothing lethal, but the liquid I was working with splashed the lower part of my face.”  


“I know we’ve had this conversation before, but you’ve really gotta start wearing goggles and shit when you’re doing stuff. Seriously.” The wizard chose not to dignify that with a response, and instead carefully placed the open book he had been holding on a small stool next to the cauldron.  


“Anyway,” Fran continued, switching topics now that she had his attention, “I got a letter from Mayor Lewis about the “wolf” problem,” she said, air quoting ‘wolf’ to emphasize her point. “He says he’s calling in animal control and they’ll be here in a week. You can get where I’m going with this.” Rasmodius twirled his beard as he listened, nodding.  


“This could certainly be a problem, yes,” he mumbled, half to himself. “Powers forbid that they actually catch something that results in fatalities.”  


“Or me,” Fran said, loudly, waving to herself. “Hard to run a farm when you’re stuck in a cage. Or dead.”  


“Indeed,” Rasmodius responded. “Do you think you could stick to roaming your farm while I look into more long term solutions and alert others?” Fran scratched the back of her neck and avoided eye contact.  


“I mean, yeah, I could try that.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “But I can’t say for sure it’ll work, or that I’ll stay put.” The wizard paused, waiting for her to continue. “I don’t think entirely straight when I get all furry. Or at least, my thinking isn’t messed up, I’m just thinking in a different way. So I might say “yeah sure I’d love to stick around and wreak havoc on my own farm!” to you now, but tonight I might go off and run along the beach and completely forget or whatever.”  


Rasmodius frowned slightly. He reached over to the book he’d put down, paging through it.  


“Well, I suppose I have a week’s time to figure out a solution. Please do try to avoid the town, at the very least,” he said, eyes scanning the pages.  
“I’ll try,” Fran promised. “I swear I’m not as bad as everyone in town probably thinks I am.”  


“To be fair, you’re also not the only were-creature in the valley,” the wizard pointed out, not looking up. “Nor the only supernatural being prone to occasionally cause destruction. And the mortal mind is much more prone to exaggeration than people are often willing to admit.”  


Fran awkwardly stuck her hands into her pockets. That much was true, she knew from experience.  


“I’ll keep it in mind. Send a letter or a crow or something when you figure stuff out.” She turned to leave through the cluttered books--she’d have to ask again what the wizard was up to when she had more time. “By the way, fix your beard! It’s disorienting as hell!” She said over her shoulder. The wizard mumbled something she didn’t quite catch as she hopped past the last stack of books and shoved her way through the heavy oak door.  


Fran blinked, squinting at her bright green surroundings as she stumbled down the stairs in front of the wizard’s tower. She always forgot how dark it was in there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be trying to do Camp NaNoWriMo this year (this will be my 5th year in a row!!) so I might try to write some more of this, idk. I make no promises.


End file.
